Shopping Bitch Face

So today I'm grocery shopping in Carrefour which is like a french walmart but with more screaming (Arab) children. I'm in the cereal aisle trying to decide between Frosted Flakes and Shreddies when this dude comes down the aisle. He stops and gives me a once over (which, fine, I'm built like a brick house so we can't totally blame him [haha so say the ladies at my work!]) and then he continues down the aisle (walking backwards so he can stare..no joke) then stops at the end of the aisle and just stands there staring, waiting for me to come. Two can play this game, fucker (I think to myself). I toss my Frosted Flakes in the cart and start toward him scowling with the bitchiest bitch look I can muster. He seems unfazed, still staring and I continue on. In the next aisle people are blocking the entire aisle with their carts and will not move when I politely try to excuse myself three times, so I just ram my way through. I happen upon a mirror at the end of the aisle and realize my face looks like this:

That, guys and gals, is my shopping bitch face, I guess. I tried to recreate as best I could but it kinda looks more like I smelled a fart or saw someone picking their nose (these are also possible grocery store things to see). I guess when I shop I walk around looking like this all the time since I'm so annoyed. That begs the question WHY ARE THEY ALL STILL LOOKING AT ME? Would you want to look at me if you saw my grocery store bitch face? Exactly.

So that's the negative of grocery shopping in the UAE. Now here's the positive. I am walking down the aisles looking for tiny cans of RedBull (which are really hard to find), probably wearing my bitch face, and I realize all of sudden that I don't have my cart anymore, which has my purse in it. Now I hear all of your tsk tsking across the world...*Never leave your purse in a cart!- You're asking for it!* Yeah, I know, dumb right. So I start looking around me in a panicked state, thinking someone took my whole cart. Seeing it nowhere around I go down the last aisle I was in, scanning- nothing. Not until I get THREE AISLES OVER where I had been shopping for cheese (I'm always shopping for cheese) do I find it, entirely untouched, next to the Babybells. So I really, truly, honestly, left my cart there, wandered three aisles away and no one touched it! Only in the UAE!



So I finish up and go out to the parking lot with my stuff