How do you measure a year?

As I sit here eating my Cheerios, getting ready for my last day of work of this school year, I wonder where the time has gone. This time last year I was on summer vacation in Canada wondering what I would face when I came to the United Arab Emirates. In the name of this last post of the school year, I would like to do a list of first and final impressions.

Consider this a list of my running inner dialogue of first impressions:

On walking out of the airport doors on August 5^th at 10:30pm: “Sweet baby Jebus it is hot out here! What have I done? Oh look! PALM TREES! I wonder what those men are doing with my luggage?”

On walking into the five star hotel I stayed in for a month: “Wow, I feel like I’m in space! I want to sing ‘I think I’m gonna like it here!’ From Annie. Also, why is everyone I see here Filipino? I though this was the United ARAB Emirates!?”

On meeting the 1000 other teachers who came to UAE along with me: “Wow, this feels like first year University all over again! Some of these people are real crazy, don’t they appreciate anything that is being done for them? I really want my apartment, this five star living in getting old! These people are awesome!”

On taking the bus ride from Abu Dhabi to Al Ain (my home city): “Holy crapolla. Where am I going? Why have I ONLY seen giant piles of sand for the last 45 minutes?! I wonder if there will be snakes and scorpions in my house?”

On arriving to my original apartment in Al Ain. “Ummmmmmmm, what the H-E-double hockey sticks is this? What happened to the apartment they described to me that had big shiny glass walls, kitchens with islands in the middle and rooftop pools. This one has particle board furniture, dead cockroaches and sewage smells. Welcome to the desert.”

On driving for the first time: “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ROUNDABOUTS? WHY ARE YOU FLASHING YOUR LIGHTS AND HONKING AT ME FOR GOING THE SPEED LIMIT?! WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME AND BLOWING KISSY FACES AT ME?”

On going to work for the first time: “Why are all these women staring at me? How will I ever know the difference between people when I can just see their hands and their eyes? I wonder if my students will cover their faces (will I have to make them wear nametags?!) I miss working with men. Why do we have to do the National Anthem and prayer outside when it’s sooooo hot? Am I supposed to pretend to pray too? Why is it always so smoky in the school?”

On going shopping for the first time: “What? No, I can…throw away my own garage, lift my own groceries off the shelf and into my cart, pack my own grocery bags, walk my cart to my own car….WHY are you trying to do it for me?”

Upon going to Dubai for the first time: “I’M ALIVE AGAIN! I feel normal. I can walk down the street and no one looks at me or cares. I can wear capris and no one will stare at my sexy ankles. Wow there’s a lot of partying here. THIS IS MY KIND OF PLACE!!”

First time paying any type of bill, going to a bank or trying to do any kind of bureaucratic thing: “WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO DISORGANIZED?!”

***Almost one year has passed and some of my impressions have changed dramatically, while some have not. Let me allow you into my head again for some final impressions.

On walking outside, when it is 45 degrees + every day, 24 hours a day: Sweet baby Jebus! It is still THAT hot out here and I will never really get used to it! Ah well, off to my air-conditioned car/house/school/mall or the pool!

On lounging at the five star hotels every weekend, sipping icy drinks by the pool: I LOVE MY LIFE!

On hanging out with a select few of the 1000 teachers who came to the UAE along with me: “These people are like my family now, what would I have done without them. Sure will miss them this summer sniff”

On living in Al Ain: “Give me sand dunes any day, it is over half times less humid, way easier to get around and has a community feeling. I would never live in Abu Dhabi city now, it’s just a Middle Eastern Toronto. Blegh. Hmm…I never did see a scorpion…”

On arriving home to my (new) apartment in Al Ain: “Wow, I love this place. No mutant cockroaches, nice new fixtures and underground parking so the inside of my car doesn’t liquefy when I park it!”

On driving, anytime: “Yeah, go flashy light and honk at yourself you mofo. NO, I will NOT MOVE out of your way, go around! Oh yeah, having your infant in the front seat on your lap is a good idea! Roll up your damn window and stop following me, fool, you ain’t getting none of this!”

On going to work for the LAST time: “Time to go sleep on a beanbag for two hours until I can go home and have a nap. Where is that big tray of chocolate again?”

Upon going to Dubai for the last time this summer: “Until we meet again, my desert lover. Never change! Xo”

Last time paying a bill, trying to get money exchanged, trying to return my car: “WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO DISORGANIZED?!”

I guess some things never change!