The disastrous coke zero run

So I finally got a car! It is a Mazda 2 and it is orange and cute. I wouldn't have chosen orange per say, but I just requested "not white" so I will take it. It arrived last night around 7pm and I decided I would go out to try it out and get some Coke Zero. If you know me, you know I need my caffeine! I went to the store up the street but they only had that sketchy "forever fresh" milk that they make out of powder and doesn't need to be refrigerated. I figured I'd head the other direction till I found another store, how hard could it be, I thought.

I found the store just fine after about 20 minutes of driving. Mind you, on the way I am pretty sure I caught air by accidentally launching myself over a giant speed bump at 60 km/hr. I didn't see it coming because it was dark. After finishing my groceries I headed out to my car, checked my map and found my route to get home. It seemed easy enough, I just needed to go left at a roundabout.

I went left at the roundabout and things started to look a little unfamiliar, but there was no where to turn around, so I kept going. I started to get pretty nervous when all I could see on one side of me was desert sand and a giant cement wall with barbed wire on the other. I wanted to turn around, but there seemed to be only the street I was on, going one way, so I could not. Up ahead there was a palace, and you don't just waltz into someone's palace in the UAE and ask for directions. I finally came upon some sort of gate, so I stopped there and hopped out. A man in army fatigues came over and told me that this was the border to Oman (the country beside the UAE) and I'd have to turn around.

Neither his English nor my understanding of him were very good, but eventually I got the idea I was supposed to go back up the road, and turn left to go under a bride. I thanked him, feeling slightly less nervous and headed back the way I had come. Eventually the road I was on ended and there was no where else to go but right. I didn't see a bridge and it looked weird, but I took it anyway, not wanting to go back and ask him again. I started to get the feeling I was doing something VERY wrong when I saw that I was seeing the back of all the signs. I realized that I was going the wrong way on a one way street. I pulled a U-turn and stopped, freaking out and not knowing what to do.

Moments later I saw a giant white hummer cut across the sand and come onto the road behind me. They were flashing their lights and waving at me. Afraid to get out, I opened my window a tinnny crack and could see it was two different army guys. They were kind of laughing (as I am crying!) and saying, "Madam, what are you doing?" To that I replied "I have no friggin idea!!!" I explained where I needed to go and they promised to escort me most of the way back. They sped off and I followed them (trying to keep up in my dinky car as they cut across sand dunes and ditches). Eventually they pulled over and got out. They were both very nice, joking with me about me being lost and talking about how they liked Canada. The one guy gave me his phone number, directed me to the next place I needed to go and told me to call him when I got there.

I did that and he directed me till I got into my neighbourhood. He called me again just after I got home to make sure I got here because he said he and his friend were worried about me. I am going to buy a GPS today. I definitely never want to put myself in that situation ever again because it was actually quite scary. I was very lucky the people who helped me were nice, because they could have probably gotten me in a lot of trouble for driving the wrong way down a one way street.

The unlucky part of the story is that this random army dude now has my number and he called me today-twice. The first time I didn't answer and the second I did. He asked me out on a date so I told him I was married (which I usually do here to keep myself out of trouble). To that he replied "Well...is your husband here yet?" FML.