Ignorance is bliss

Something that I just realized about living here is that you will either receive far too much attention, or none. The too much attention comes in the form of everyone staring at you for your obnoxiously bared arms, your hair blowing in the breeze or you choice to wear pink. They may also be staring at you for simply being a woman alone, clearly asking for glares by parading yourself around the mall in a floor length skirt, like a hussie. There is also too much focus on the wrong things at school, like making sure the female students don't dare wear nail polish, while ignoring the fact that they run around opening teacher's doors and disturbing classes. Trying to teach them at an 11th grade level for native english speakers while they are at a grade 3 ESL speaker level.

Then there's the times when you want to get noticed and you just can't. You will be ignored at most restaurants when you want a refill, most stores while you wait in line and most parking lots unless you start honking your horn like a crazy person and driving into people's bumpers. I know I complain about it a lot here, but the driving is seriously outrageous! Yesterday I was in a parking lot, waiting bumper to bumper to turn onto the street to leave and the guy behind me was honking at me like a crazy person and flashing his lights in my mirror, although it was very clear I could not move my car anywhere. Apparently he was upset that I was not driving directly into the driver's side door of the old man's car ahead of me. I have learned that no one will let you in here either, just just kind of have to drive into them. I am going to have to take a deep breath before getting in a car at home and remember not to drive like someone is chasing me.

There is also being ignored in a professional setting. It is both offensive and awkward to have a colleague walk up to a line of people, greet each of them and shake their hand and entirely pass over you as if you didn't exist, because you are not deemed important enough. This happens to me, and many other of my colleagues, at school each day. Or to be in a room with a person for 45 minutes and have them not speak one word to you, even if you try to speak to them. I refuse to believe these things are cultural, rather than just bad manners.

In the same vein, sometimes people surprise the heck out of me. There can be 10 people lined up in a grocery store with a cart full of stuff and one person with a basket will get let in front of everyone, so they don't have to wait. That would never happen in Canada. You also don't have to pick up your own garbage (may not be a good thing...) and if you are kind to people in customer service jobs they will do almost anything for you. Also, I saw a man (presumably a policeman or army guy) walking around the mall with his shopping bag and an AK47 today. Things like that will always surprise me.

After living here for about 4 months I guess I have learned a lot. In some ways, I wish I could unlearn some of the negative stuff because it can be hard to deal with. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, especially when you can't change something. On the other hand, I have learned great patience, especially when in the face of people who have no patience at all. This applies anywhere in the world, but that patience will allow you a much easier life here.